The Flippant Philosopher

…while it’s still news.

In the not-so-distant future, whether you’re gay (or not) just won’t be a headline grabber.

-Demonax

I inadvertently discovered a way to annoy True Believers: Confuse them with run-of-the-mill, almost-certainly-backslidden, lip-service “believers” of other (to any one else very similar) faiths.

To the outside world, the United States is a Christian nation. A rather lascivious, materialistic and violent version of Christianity, but undoubtedly Christian.

You can judge an American’s depth of fundamentalism by observing how upset they get when you point this out.

Christianity is the “default religion” here. That is, in the absence of any specific information to the contrary (she’s not wearing a burka/he’s not in an orange robe selling flowers), you can safely assume that their background matches that of most Americans and includes at least a passing familiarity with the Bible, the Ten Commandments, the Birth of Christ, and the Crucifixion. They might even go to church. A lot of them still do.

But to True Believers, America is a Pagan Nation because they clearly see the differences between themselves and everyone else. And that they have a tendency to lump in True Believers of other sects  along with the “other Pagans” helps preserve that sense of being a struggling underdog that is such a key component of the American psyche.

Despite my current (lack of) religious beliefs, I have no problem admitting that my background is Christian. Very Christian. I attended private schools named after the churches that ran them. I even went to a private religious university. It’s been years now, though, and even to my practiced eye, I’m having a hard time separating the Catholics from the Baptists from the Evangelicals from the…you get the idea.

They all look the same to me.

-Demonax

That’s my 3-year-old daughter’s phrase meaning: “a period of daylight prior to the current one.” She would never put it that way, though.

There’s no time limit imposed on “last morning.” “We went there last morning,” could be referring to yesterday, last week, or even further back.

Her use of language is becoming more standard as she approaches age 4. I miss the words and phrases she used to use last morning.

-Demonax

“Tomorrow” is the period of wakefulness predicted (but never guaranteed) to follow the current period of wakefulness (AKA “today”), separated from “today” by a wall of sleep.

Implications: You (and by “you”, I mean “me”) can stave off tomorrow by simply never going to sleep.

-Demonax

The easiest way to not make mistakes, of course, is to take no action at all. Sit tight.

After all, you made a perfect decision–based on the information you had. You can hardly be blamed for the failings/lies of people who want to see your fail. You made a perfect attempt. It’s not your fault the world just isn’t ready for your level of genius.

Loudly. Make sure the blame goes wherever it’s supposed to go. Which is anywhere but perfect you.

Or, to put it another way:

What’s not to love about perfection?

-Demonax

The other night I realized that I would rather light a dollar to watch it burn than play the lottery.

If I ever get the urge to voluntarily donate money to the government, I’ll start speeding again. At least that way the money stays in the community.

-Demonax

1. Remove the clutter.

2. Now…where do you want to put the rest of this stuff?

3. Invoice.

Compare that to traditional business consulting:

1. Get data from the client.

2. Give the data back to the client.

3. Invoice.

Damn similar, neh?

-Demonax

The trick is realizing that when the pain is gone, you can shuck the habit too. Better do it fast, though, or you’ll likely be stuck with the new habit. At least until the next pain comes along to force it out.

-Demonax

Most of them are rather boring.

-Demonax