It's Not Our Children's Burden…
February 13th, 2009It’s Not Our Children’s Burden…
…if we pay for it ourselves.
-Demonax
Robin Hood Was Always a Thief
August 4th, 2008Robin Hood Was Always a Thief
But he had great PR skills.
-Demonax
You Shouldn’t Limit Yourself
July 31st, 2008You Shouldn’t Limit Yourself
Leave that to your friends and family. And society.
-Demonax
Raising a Finger to Help
February 22nd, 2008Raising a Finger to Help
You can never be certain that Adam Smith’s invisible hand isn’t flipping you off.
-Demonax
Get New Material
February 13th, 2008Get New Material
You can’t live your adult life telling the same stories (of your childhood, of high school/college., etc) over and over.
Ok, fine. You can. But you get boring. Fast.
-Demonax
"I pity you" really means…
January 24th, 2008“I pity you” really means…
…”You disgust me.”
-Demonax
Lessons from the Beatitudes
December 25th, 2007Lessons from the Beatitudes
1. Poor now? Don’t sweat it. After you die, you’ll be rich. Rich, I say! In the meantime, I’ve got a better use for your money than you do. There’s a good boy.
2. Something making you sad? There, there. Now it’s all better. Promise.
3. Not just poor, eh? But oppressed too? And unable to do anything about it? Refer back to that “after you die” bit earlier. Because, yeah, after you die, this is all yours.
4. Hungry? Here’s a sandwich. Well, there will be a sandwich. After you die. Or now, if you can spare me the dough to buy us both one.
5. In case our roles are ever reversed–heaven forbid!–show me some mercy, aight? I’ll do the same for you one day. Not now of course. After you die.
6. Wanna see god? After you die? Stay pure. That means no fucking. None at all. Nah, I’m just yanking your chain. Had you for a minute there, though, didn’t I?
7. Make peace. Even if you have to go to war to do it. It’s the final peace that matters, not how you make it. You’ll be blessed. After you die.
8. People giving you shit about all this I’m telling you? Fuck ‘em. Come the after-you-die part, you are so gonna lord it over them.
The final lesson I want to leave you with today, brothers and sisters, is that your life will be so much better after you die.
-Demonax
No Refresher Courses
December 3rd, 2007No Refresher Courses
Your parents teach you to wipe your ass, probably before you can ever remember.
After that, you’re on your own.
-Demonax
Whatever Doesn’t Kill You…
November 9th, 2007Whatever Doesn’t Kill You…
…probably still hurts like the dickens.
-Demonax
In the Land of "Expelliarmus"…
November 6th, 2007In the Land of “Expelliarmus”…
…the wand with a wrist strap is the wand of the King.
-Demonax